Don’t take Twitter’s relationship advice

I texted one of my friends yesterday and it took an hour for them to reply. According to Twitter, I should cut them off because they don’t value our friendship and only speak to me when they are bored. What Twitter failed to consider was that said friend was at work and couldn’t reply at the instant second Twitter and its memes demand.

Maybe it’s just the people I follow but it seems as though everyone on Twitter is insecure and has serious trust issues. Is it really that deep to cut off a friend or significant other because they don’t reply ‘lol’ to the Kermit the Frog meme you sent them within seconds? Is it too much to believe that people are too busy in the real word to constantly be on their phones and ready to reply at any given second?

Maybe the society we live in encourages it. Being in the bathroom isn’t even an excuse anymore as people read emails and reply to texts whilst using the toilet as if that isn’t unhygienic and, to be honest, a bit weird. It sickens me to think of someone replying to one of my messages in between flushing and wiping.

We are never allowed to fully switch off from social media; unlike my early high school days where you could go offline from MSN and take a well-needed breather. We are now always constantly accessible on an array of devices and perhaps this is taken for granted. You can’t turn your phone off or leave it on silent for a few days because you want space or quiet time out of fear of hurting someone’s feelings.

Read receipts make this even worse. You can see if someone has read you message and then feel angry and ignored if they read your message and don’t reply.

I saw a tweet once that was somewhere along the lines of ‘everyone has their phones on them 24/7 if someone isn’t replying it’s because they don’t want to talk to you’ and it had thousands of retweets.

Maybe the person who wrote this was right but there are also a million other reasons why people read messages and don’t reply or take longer than seconds to respond. Maybe they were sleeping, eating, driving, smoking, working or forgot for example. Or maybe they can’t stand you and wish you’d take the hint to stop contacting them. The point of this isn’t to say that this isn’t a possibility, only that Twitter tends to always think the worst of people and assume the latter rather than any of the former.

If you take relationship advice from Twitter, you’ll never trust anyone and likely have ridiculously high standards. Twitter demands a £200 minimum spend on first dates, message replies within seconds every time and constant reaffirmation of the relationship on social media through long romantic captions and uploads of pictures showing PDA.

Maybe this works in theory in the virtual worlds of Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat but in the real world where people have bills, student debt, lectures, jobs, extra-curricular activities and the want of privacy, it’s a bit far-fetched.

Maybe your Best Friend was busy trying on lip gloss in MAC and didn’t have time to reply in that exact moment and your Boyfriend was at work searching for purple Huaraches in size 9 in the stockroom and couldn’t reply to the screenshot you sent him of your new celebrity relationship goals until after his shift.

Stop taking everything so personally and learn to ignore the advice of people on social media desperate for retweets. Listening to them will only make you paranoid and miserable.


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